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A Spirit of Forgiveness Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. --Luke 23:34 Happy Good Friday! Since this is the day we commemorate the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ, I found it appropriate He would lead me to share a word regarding forgiveness. While I'm assuming that most of us do not have a problem accepting the free gift of forgiveness of sins from God by the redemptive sacrifice of our Lord Jesus, it is important for us to walk in forgiveness as well. Because as he is, so are we in this world. [1 John 4:17] The Lord commanded us in Luke 6:37: Forgive and you shall be forgiven. This command seems simple enough and is illustrated in more detail in Mark 11:25-26 when Jesus gave us the secret of answered prayer: And when you stand praying, forgive if you have ought against any. That your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive you your trespasses. Again Jesus taught us in the model (Lord's) prayer in Matthew 6:12: forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors and also in verse 14 of the same chapter: For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Simply put, when someone offends, cheats, steals, abuses, slanders, gossips, or even commits a heinous crime against you or your family, you must forgive them. This may be a tough pill to swallow, but it's one we have to swallow if we too want to be forgiven when we miss the mark. As our Lord demonstrated the true spirit of forgiveness while hanging on the cross, and also as Stephen showed us in Acts 7:60, we must follow these examples. A great example in the Bible of one reason why we should forgive occurs in Matthew 18:23-35 (the parable of the unmerciful servant). The certain king was taking account of his servants and their debts. One brought before him owed a large amount of money (ten thousand talents). When he learned that the servant could not pay, the lord ordered the servant, his wife, his children and all that he had to be sold. The servant then fell on his knees and begged for mercy. Moved with compassion, the lord forgave the servant of the entire debt. However, this servant, after being forgiven from his debt, went to a fellow servant, which owed him a small amount of money (hundred pence), and threatened him to pay the debt. When the fellow servant begged him for patience and mercy, the first servant cast him into prison instead of having compassion and showing mercy as was shown to him. Once hearing word of his servant's behavior, the lord called for the servant and said: O you wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt, because you desired me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, even as I had pity on you? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if you from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. [Matthew 18:32-35] Offenses Will Occur When Jesus said to His disciples, It is impossible but that offenses will come [Luke 17:1] He was telling us to expect mistreatment and persecution from the world. In John 15:20, the Lord said, Remember the word that I said unto you. The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you. Again, since Christ was rejected and persecuted, we will face the same as a result of following Himnot only from strangers, but more importantly, from our family and friends. When Jesus said Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do, He was revealing the root cause of persecution, and offenses to His children. Our battle is spiritual--not natural. The apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 6:12: For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. We need to grasp the truth that when someone offends you, the offense isn't because of who you are, it is because of Christ. We shouldn't take any attack personally; rather understand that the root cause of the attack is spiritual and directed at the Christ in you. Jesus said in John 15:18-19, 20: If the world hates you, you know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love his own. But because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world will hate you. But all these things will they do unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me. How can a dead person be offended? Colossians 3:3 says: For you are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. Consider that once you were born again, you died and subsequently rose again as a new creature in Christ [2 Corinthians 5:17]. In Christ, we are spiritual beings living in a fleshy body. It is the flesh that gets offendednot the spirit. We must undertake putting down the flesh at all timesespecially when someone does something that may offend your flesh, and cause you to act upon it. But this I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh. And these are contrary the one to the other. So that you cannot do the things you would. Galatians 5:16-17 B.C. Offenses Someone may be asking, "Jeff, what if I was deeply hurt by someone before I became a Christian? Must I still forgive them?" As a Christian, if you are still harboring unforgiveness toward a person regardless of when you were hurt or offended, you must forgive them. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things are passed away. Behold, all things are become new. In Christ, we cannot focus on the past--but concentrate on what is ahead of us in Christ. The apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 3:13: Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended. But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. Later, we'll discuss the effects of bitterness and unforgiveness, and how it relates to your walk in Christ. No man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. Luke 9:62 Nature of Sin When one reads the account of the original sin in Genesis 3, we see that it came as a result of selfishness. Before Adam ate, they had not recognized themselves as being anything but what God had created them to be. However, after eating, their eyes opened and they immediately saw themselves as being naked. When before they had focused on God, now their eyes turned to themselves. Selfishness is the root of every sin. Fear, pride, greed, lust, envy, and hatred are all because of selfishness. When someone offends or commits an act against you, it is not necessarily because of you, but because of this person's own selfishness. His selfishness simply affects you and this is how we become offended. Understanding the underlying cause of sin can help lead you to forgiveness of that person. This is why Jesus commanded us: Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. [Matthew 5:44] This teaching was so radical (and still is today) in that it went against every natural response, which is borne in selfishness. He knew that since sin and offenses were because of selfishness, only the love of God exercised through you would serve to help them. Instead of seeking revenge for an offense, we forgive and give them to God in prayer. Sin is transgression of the law. --1 John 3:4 Sin is an offense against God--not you. When someone commits sin, although it may affect you, it is not against you. This is why the Bible commands: Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath. For it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. [Romans 12:19] Let's consider the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. When the younger son came to his senses (v. 17), he decided to return to his father and say, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before you. This is an illustration of the truth behind sin. The father didn't lecture him on his transgression--he didn't even punish him. Instead, this loving father hugged and kissed his son, welcoming him back home. This is the essence of true forgiveness--it's unconditional. The father, upon seeing his son coming home, had compassion and ran to him. God has reached out to all of us in forgiveness by giving His only begotten Son to die on the cross. We should do the same when someone hurts us. Knowing that sin is an offense against God may not make it hurt less, but if God can forgive as the father of the prodigal son did, then you can as well. As a follower of Christ, we must walk in love and forgiveness toward everyonenot just our Christian brothers and sisters. The Purpose of Forgiveness Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord. Looking diligently lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble in you, and thereby many be defiled. --Hebrews 12:14-15 The purpose of forgiveness applies in a greater way to the person giving it. Since sin is a transgression against God (the law), your forgiveness is not for the benefit of the individual who hurt you, so much as it is for your benefit. Truthfully, unforgiveness will harm you more than the individual who offended you. It is a medical fact that bitterness, which is a result of unforgiveness, can lead to serious diseases like cancer and arthritis. Bitterness does nothing but eat away at the person harboring it, and has no effect on the person to whom the bitterness is directed. This truth also is illustrated in the story of the prodigal son [Luke 15]. In verse 25-32, the elder son, upon learning of his younger brother's return and seeing the celebration, was angry. His unforgiveness and bitterness toward his brother led to murmuring, jealousy, pride, rejection, fault finding, and self-righteousness. And he was angry, and would not go in [pride]. Therefore came his father out, and entreated him. And he answering said to his father, [murmuring] Lo, these many years do I serve you, neither transgressed I at any time your commandment [self-righteousness]; and yet you never gave me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends [jealousy]. But as soon as your son [rejection of his brother] was come, which has devoured your living with harlots [fault finder/unmerciful], you have killed for him the fatted calf. One should note that the younger brother hadn't done anything to his brother (v.30). I'm speaking to those of you who may be holding a grudge against someone for hurting someone else--a friend or relative. You have no business being offended, much less in holding a grudge against someone who has done nothing to you personally. Do you see how the devil uses unforgiveness to create greater strife between people? Bitterness and unforgiveness gives place for the devil to work his destruction. The devil wants you bitter so he can use it to destroy your relationshipswith man and God. In 2 Corinthians 2, the apostle Paul refers to a man caught in fornication [1 Corinthians 5] and teaches forgiveness. So that contrariwise you ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. Wherefore, I beseech you that you confirm your love toward him. Lest Satan should get an advantage of us. For we are not ignorant of his devices. [2 Corinthians 2:7-9,11] When before [1 Corinthians 5:4-5] the apostle had commanded them to withdraw themselves from this man so that he could come to repentance (by delivering him to Satan for the destruction of his flesh), he was now teaching forgiveness and restoration. Galatians 6:1 says: Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, you which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering yourself, lest you also be tempted. Satan's mission is to steal, kill, and destroy [John 10:10], and when we sin, the devil pulls out all the stops in his attempt to create a greater gulf between Christians--and more importantly between us and God. Have you ever witnessed the destructive power of unforgiveness at work? It seems that as soon as a Christian stumbles or gets caught in a sin, the entire world, including his Christian brothers and sisters, begin piling on with condemnation and judgment instead of reaching out to him with love as our Lord Jesus would do. Jim Bakker is a perfect example of this. Here was a man of God who, through the ministry given to him by God, had accomplished much for the kingdom of God, but as soon as he was caught in a sin, his Christian brothers and sisters turned on him like a black widow spider devours her mate. We should expect this kind of behavior from the world, but people who are supposed to be acting like Christ should have walked in forgiveness and love. Frankly, it seems that worldly people are much more forgiving than Christians. A new commandment I give to you, That you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another. --John 14:34-35 Satan must be laughing himself to tears when he accomplishes the task of getting Christians to turn on one another. This is why I find it so troubling to hear or read about ministers attacking other ministers. These so-called followers of Christ seek only to discredit ministries that, in their opinion, are teaching false doctrineswhen they, if they were truly following Christ, should be preaching the gospel and allowing the Lord to expose any false teachers or prophets. Quite often, these groups focus on mistakes a minister may have made in the past, and hammer them with accusations instead of being Christ-like and forgiving them and sincerely praying for them. More often than not, the ministers being attacked are only teaching deeper truthsones that are well above the spiritual maturity of their attackers. We could learn a thing or two from animals, especially herding animals. In the herd, the older and stronger ones protect the younger and weaker ones from predators. When the predator comes, the stronger ones surround the weaker ones, usually the young, so they can shield and protect them from being consumed. Christians should do the same. When someone becomes weak or is caught in a fault, the stronger members of the body should reach out and surround them with love and comfort in order to protect them from further damage. What usually occurs with Christians is the opposite: they leave the weak ones to fend for themselves, perfect food for wolves. This is what Paul was trying to teach the Corinthian church with the fornicator. In Galatians 6:1 when he wrote, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted, Paul was warning us to consider what if it were us who had been overtaken with a fault. How would we want our brothers and sisters to react if we miss the mark? Quite often, the Christian wants grace and forgiveness when he or she makes a mistake, but is not willing to extend it to others. Prayer Gives Birth to Compassion The reason Jesus commanded us to pray for those who spitefully use you [Matthew 5:44] is because when you diligently seek to pray for a person, you will develop compassion for them. You may not have much compassion at first, but over time, if you commit to praying from the heart for this person, compassion will manifest in your heart. As prayer gives birth to compassion--compassion gives birth to forgiveness. If you are still holding a grudge against someone, commit to praying for them--and at the same time, pray for the Lord to remove any bitterness that remains in your heart. Don't pray for them to humble themselves and come to you with an apology--this is selfish and done with the wrong motives. You're praying for them--not yourself! Pray that the Lord will convict them of this behavior and for them to repent, subsequently bringing them to a closer relationship with Christ, or even being born again (for non-Christians). If you've forgiven them of the offense, you do not need for them to apologize to you; however, if they come to you, embrace them with love and forgiveness Pride Prevents Forgiveness Blessed are the peacemakers. For they shall be called the children of God. Matthew 5:9 What is a peacemaker? A peacemaker is one who lays down his or her pride and begins the process of restoration necessary as a result of a disagreement. Regardless of which person is the offender or victim of the offense, the peacemaker will always seek to restore peace by either seeking forgiveness through repentance, or by reaching out in love and forgiveness. Pride prevents either of these events from occurring. Whether you are the offender or victim, it takes a humble spirit to seek forgiveness or to reach out in love to offer it. Does the following statement apply to you? "If someone offends me, I'll forgive them only if they come to me first with an apology." Which is the most Christ-like behavior--waiting for repentance to forgive, or forgiving because you love them and want to restore your relationship with them? When the woman caught in adultery was brought before the Lord in John 8:1-11, He didn't stand there with His arms crossed waiting for her to beg for forgiveness. No, Jesus reached out to her with love and forgiveness. What we must grasp here is that love and forgiveness are so much more powerful than pride and condemnation. Pride and condemnation destroys--love and forgiveness builds. Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. --Proverbs 16:18 Jesus demonstrates His great humility and love again in John 21:15-17 when He forgives and restores Peter. The Lord knew that Peter had grieved over his denial of Jesus the night He was arrested. However, similar to the case with the adulterous woman, the Lord didn't let Peter wallow in guilt over his transgression. Rather, in His great love and wisdom, Jesus forgave and restored Peter by asking him three simple questions: "Simon, son of Jonas, do you love me?" Three questions for three denials. Peter could have very easily fallen into a pit of shame and guilt over this--never having fulfilled his callinghad our Lord not restored him. It has been my experience that it is much more difficult to forgive someone close to you than a stranger. Because of the closeness of a particular relationship and the intensity of the love (romantic, familial, or brotherly) wounds go deeper and hurt in a greater way. It's the same for us as Christians. If a stranger were to steal or cheat you out of something, you will probably be more apt to forgive the stranger than if your spouse, parent, sibling, or close friend had committed the same offense. This happens often with ministers when they've fallen into a sin. Because of their position and trust conveyed by their flocks, they are more likely to be deeply hurt by any betrayal. Peter's denial probably hurt Jesus deeper than the betrayal of Judas Iscariot, because Peter was closer to the Lord than any of the disciples, except perhaps John. Nevertheless, our Lord initiated restoration of His relationship with Peter. Think about it--with the exception of John, all of Jesus' best friends abandoned Him at a time where their loyalty was never needed more. Jesus forgave all of them. What if this happened to you? Would you be quick to forgive if your closest friends betrayed, denied, and abandoned you at your weakest moment? Notwithstanding the closeness or intensity of the relationship, Christ commands us to sincerely (from your heart) forgive everyone of their trespasses. [Matthew 18:35] I heard the story of a woman who was dying of cancer. The story was told by a man who was called by God to minister to this woman. The Lord had told the man that this woman had been stricken with cancer because of years of bitterness and unforgiveness toward her husband whom had been unfaithful to her. She was about to die and the Lord wanted to give her one more chance to forgive her husband, and if she did, she would be healed. He was instructed to go to the hospital where the woman was and minister to her. This man didn't know the woman at allthe Lord simply called him to go, giving him her name. When he arrived at the hospital and was led to her room, he found the sweetest, most loving woman he had ever met. He began to wonder if he had heard the Lord correctly. The woman he talked to was in good spirits and ready "to go home" as she had put it. He hadn't yet mentioned his purpose for being there, and the Lord urged him to speak to her. He began telling her what the Lord had told himthat her husband had betrayed her greatly, and that she had been deeply hurt by him. The countenance in her face began to change. No longer was she the sweet woman he'd been speaking with the last several minutes. He gave the woman the message from the Lord: "Forgive your husband and I will heal you from this disease." The woman lay in the bed with her teeth clenched, arms crossed, and a scowl written across her face. "I will never forgive that man for what he did to me," she growled. "Never!" Several minutes later, and after a futile attempt to convince her otherwise, the dying woman asked the man to leave. With tears in his eyes, he walked out of the hospital, praying for the Lord to have mercy on her. He called the hospital the next day, and the woman had died. Will you take unforgiveness to the grave? Will you allow bitterness and resentment to eat away your joy and peace? Will you continue to swallow the poison of unforgiveness, which leads to disease and suffering? And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby you are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:30-32 Someone is saying: "Yes, Jeff, that's easy for you to say, but you have no idea what has happened to meand what this person did to me. You have no idea!" No, I don't have any idea what has happened to you. But I do know what happened to Jesus. He never committed a sin His entire life. He brought healing and deliverance to the same people who cheered "Crucify him!" Jesus wept over the same people who condemned Him to be tortured and hung on a cross. They didn't ask to be forgiven--He just said: "Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do." If anyone had the right to be bitter, it was Jesus. As we remember what Christ did on the cross this day, let us also remember that we didn't deserve to be forgiven--it is the gift of God. [Romans 6:23; Ephesians 2:8] So when someone hurts, disappoints, offends, betrays, abuses, or rejects you, do as Jesus would do, and forgive them so as to release both them and you from the poison of bitterness. The following was taken from a message by Mike Evans of the Jerusalem Prayer Team Ministries. Please consider carefully these examples to see if they apply to you. If so, seek the Lord for deliverance from bitterness and unforgiveness. Are you a victim of spiritual root rot? Here are some sure ways to recognize bitterness, and some practical steps to deal with it. There are ten sure signals of unforgiveness. The bitter person will be: 1. Barren - Lack of concern for others; consumed with self-pity; preoccupied with self. 2. Biased - Super-sensitive; touchy; paranoid and fearful. 3. Brief - Have few friends; too busy for close relationships. 4. Brittle - Afraid to meet new people; inflexible; fear rejection. 5. Blind - Show little or no gratitude; negative; no joy. 6. Bigoted - Harshly critical; dogmatic and extreme. 7. Brutal - Holds grudges for long periods of time. 8. Base - Stubborn; sulky. 9. Bleak - Gloomy and cold; distant. 10. Bizarre - Severe mood swings; no sense of stability. If you are holding a grudge against anyone, for any reason, please pray with me: Dear Father, thank You for forgiving me of my sins. Thank You for the cross. Thank You for the empty tomb. Thank You for Jesus. Please help me to remember that my battle is not with other people; it is with spiritual forces that are in rebellion against You. I know that I will be disappointed, even hurt from time to time. Help me to see those situations through Your eyes, and to learn from them. Please help me to forgive others as Jesus forgave me. Right now, I ask You to bring to my mind the names of individuals against whom I am harboring a grudge. Help me to respond to those hurts in a way that honors You and leads to true restoration. Father, in the name of Jesus, and by His power, I choose to forgive those people, and I ask you to bless them. Remove the root of bitterness I have allowed to grow in my heart. Bring healing and liberty. In the name of Jesus, Amen. This teaching is part of a weekly series entitled: "Branches of the Vine: Bearing Fruit in Your Walk in Christ." Branches of the Vine Volume 1, Issue 7 Copyright 2004 by Jeff Pate. All rights reserved. Copying and redistribution (only in its entirety) are permitted. |
